How To Go To Visitation Without Throwing-Up

Customer Reviews

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A great book, April 20, 2005
 

Reviewer:

Adam Sacks (Calabasas, CA United States)

Because the author is young, there is little pretension. This book is a very honest and forthright account of how the child feels about visitation. It's ups and downs and how to approach it well. A good read especially for kids in his situation..........
 

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By kids, for kids -- and parents, too, April 15, 2005
 

Reviewer:

Amazonbombshell (Milwaukie, OR, USA)

Written by a "little" boy who sounds wiser than his years, this book for children of divorce is a perfect combination of empathy, practicality, and distraction.

Headings like "Does Anyone Like Visitation?", "Why Kids Don't Want to Go," and "Why Kids Worry" address the real issues kids face when they have to (as Joshua, the author, put it) "leave one home to go to another." In clear language, they highlight feelings kids really have about visitation, and, in so doing, validate those feelings and comfort the many children who think they are alone in their worries. Joshua dwells just long enough on these sections to be a comfort to others -- and then, as his readers will want to do, he moves on to practical things.

He suggests things to pack that make visitation trips more fun, and lists information (phone numbers, addresses, full names, etc) that kids flying alone should know before they leave home. He lists what will and will not help when a child is worried or scared about visitation, and he talks about ways to calm or to face those worries.

It's not all talk-talk-talk, though: Joshua includes numerous suggestions for activities to do while traveling or to distract yourself when worried, and lots of fill-in pages to consider your own feelings.

One of my favorite things about this slim volume is its versatility: kids can take it with them anywhere as a combination guidebook/workbook/activity book. Pages are left blank for name anagrams, maps, worry lists, pictures of "happy times," etc. My favorites are the Wish List ("If you know what you want, you will have a better chance of getting it") and Fill-In Feelings.

Though they are usually trying to do what they think is best for their children, adults embroiled in custody battles sometimes forget that it is their CHILDREN'S LIVES that are being re-ordered by a court, without their permission and usually without their input. This book would be helpful not only to help those children understand their feelings and cope with things they can't change, but to help parents -- and indeed anyone who works with children -- to understand what kids are going through.

The only caveat to my five-star recommendation is this: the book mentions God (and occasionally Jesus, in the statements of other children) several times. I do not see this as a shortcoming; acknowledging and working with a Higher Power is very helpful and necessary for many -- perhaps most -- people. Adults purchasing the book should be aware of this bias, and help children to understand it in the context of their own spiritual beliefs.
 

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5 Stars and 5 Hugs, May 12, 2003
 

Reviewer:

Jackie Runge (Palm Springs, CA)

As good a book for parents as for children. This young author addresses the challenges children face and demonstrates how children and their parents inadverntly make things harder. His ideas for understanding and improving things are great.

I enjoyed the pages where Joshua identifies the many dangers in the world (in alphabetical order) including Ants, Avalanche, Baths, Bears, Bees, Burglars, Bombs, Crocodiles, Dogs, Drowning, Earthquake, Flood, Forest Fire, Homework, Hurricane, Kiss, Lightning, Monsters, Quicksand, Sharks, Snakes, Spiders, Stage Fright, Terrorist,, Things Under the Bed, Tornado and the Unknown. He lists where the danger lurks, such as Mountains, Where it is Warm or Everywhere. Then Joshua answers "Can I Get Hurt?" with responses like, No kid has ever died from getting clean. Not Ever. or Stay on paths, don't move logs, don't try to kill or tease snakes.

The pages about the things that worry children (including; the dark, getting sick, not having friends, getting dead, scary movies, tests at school, germs, answering questions in class, bullies, making mistakes, losing my things, AND MORE ...) and how he and his friends cope are WONDERFUL. Lots of feelings explored in a very positive tone.

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A Kid's Advice to Other Kids. Well Done!, March 19, 2003
Reviewer: A reader
A really good piece of work. Doesn't make the child responsible for the actions of the adults. Helps the child identify, understand and deal with the feelings in a hands-on manner. Amazing how it addresses many of the worries children face. Visualizing the big picture of parenting time while recognizing that it takes small steps to get there. Everyone must work hard to accomplish a process made more difficult by the legal system and distance. I have an adult child that faced these challenges and a small child that faces them now. I wish the grown child had had this book. The younger child really enjoyed it.

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Kids Helping Kids to Cope with Visitation, March 1, 2003
 

Reviewer:

Sherrie L Clifford (Thorofare, NJ United States)

This book is very well written for kids of all ages. Joshua has written a book that will help many kids going through the life of being bounced around from one parent to parent which is not easy for a child at any age. ...Great job Joshua...